Sunday, December 06, 2009

Blink

In the blink of an eye.

I never liked cliches and like them even less now.

Yesterday, in the blink of an eye, my world changed.

Two days earlier, I noticed on my caller ID that my mother had called. Since she didn’t leave a message, I figured I’d call her back on Saturday when I had more time. After all, we’d talked on Thanksgiving. At three o’clock, with half the day gone, she called me again.

For the first fifteen minutes, I rambled on about my job search, my husband’s hernia surgery and our hunt for health benefits. We haven’t seen each other in more than a year and a half and so our calls have taken on the nature of lengthy updates. Then it was her turn.

“I had a CAT scan on Thursday and they told me I have cancer.”

When she spoke, her voice shook with fear and tears. As one of three remaining siblings from a family of thirteen, all who died from cancer, she knows what her doctor’s recent pronouncement means. So do I.

“Why didn’t you tell me right away?” I asked as the seriousness of her condition sunk in.

“I wanted to know if you got that job,” she said. “I know how much you need it.”

Yeah I did. But if I had gotten it, I wouldn’t have been able to say my next words. “I’m coming up.”

In the blink of an eye, my life has changed. My mother is my rock, my confident, my best friend. I live in Florida. She lives in Pennsylvania. 1200 miles away. We’ve driven it only once but because of a few other not-so-good blinks in the past two years, we will probably be driving it again. It’s not how I want to do life right now. But sometimes we don’t get choices.

Blink.

Sometimes we don’t get to fix those blinks. Sometimes we try to ignore them—hoping they’ll go away and not affect us. Sometimes we are the blink in another person’s life. But the fact remains—they happen.

For me it comes down to this: God promises only today. Seconds, minutes, hours. How many blinks is that? How am I going to make the best use of them?

Have there been any blinks in your life lately?


51 comments:

Kristen Torres-Toro said...

Oh, Terri. I'm so sorry, Friend. I'm starting to pray now and won't stop.

Jan Cline said...

You know there have. But with friends like you, we get through them no matter what the outcome. We remind each other that God is our source, our comfort and our last word. You have an opportunity to share in the last part of your mother's life, it will be a blessing - I know from experience. I don't enjoy blinks either, but we can only pray God will use our blinks to help someone else. I know you will do that.
My love and prayers to you.

Andrea said...

We knew GOD knew what HE was doing when you did not get the job. Now, we know why. You will be able to "go" and do whatever your mom needs without worrying about answering to a boss. Sometimes those "blinks" make us realize what is truly important.

GOD tends to remind me a lot about what HE is doing...I am blessed to recognize many blinks, lately...some I like and some I do not like.

I will storm the heavens in prayer for you and your mom.

As you make the journey from Florida to Pennsylvania, you will likely pass very closely to my home in Richmond, Virginia...just of 95. If you need anything...please let me know. You have my info on facebook and email. If you would like...email me and I will give you my phone number.

Blessings, hugs, and prayers, andrea

Linda said...

I'm so sorry, Terri. Sending up prayers for your Mom, and for you as you walk this road with her. Hugs to you.

LisaShaw said...

Terri, my heart and prayers are with your precious Mother and with you. As I read your heart stirring words I prayed for your Mom and for you and your family. I kept hearing Isaiah 41:10 in my spirit.

I stand in prayer believing to see God's goodness in all of this dear sister in Christ. Psalm 27:13-14.

Love and prayers.

Janna Qualman said...

As the others have, Terri, I express my sorrow. And you'll have my thoughts and prayers, too. Be safe in your journey.

mamabear said...

I will start the prayer now. I am so sorry!

Very beautifully written, dear friend.

Madison said...

You've had too many blinks in too short a time. I know God has planned something wonderful to come out of all this for you. Be blessed in the middle of it all. I will pray for you and your mom.

Lily Robinson said...

I will say a prayer for your mother and you. It seems that all the important things in life happen in a blink.

The subtitle of the book I'm reading now: In the Twinkling of an Eye.

May God give you both strength and courage in the coming days...

Jessica said...

I'm so sorry, but isn't it interesting how you'll be able to go up and see her now?
This was really wonderfully written, despite the seriousness of the subject.

Paul Greci said...

Terri, I'm sorry to hear your news. I hope you have a safe jouney and a healing time with your mother.

Gaia said...

Oh I hate this! I can understand what is going through your head. When I watch my dad lately, he has suddenly become so frail. Where is the strong big man??? I begin to tear becos I was scared. Scared of ever losing him or mum. I don't think I know how or want to handle blinks like these again

I lost my first born in 'a blink of an eye' within a period of one month after he was diagnosed with lukeumia. I am crying just thinking about it.

Carmen said...

My heart groans with yours...

Sassy Granny ... said...

I'm so sorry to hear this report. I pray it's a condition that can be treated; that your mother would live with vigor for many days to come.

I pray for you, too, friend. Having had to release my own mother when I was 26, I know how unimaginable is their being gone and out of reach.

Travel safe. And do let me know if there's any practical thing I can do to be of help.

Blessings,
Kathleen

ginny said...

Oh Terri, that is horrible news. But please remember, where there is life there is hope. I will pray with you for her healing. Just because her siblings did not make it, does not mean she will not beat it. Do not accept this evil news. Pray against it..send it back to where it truly belongs. I am lifting her up as I type.....

Alleluiabelle said...

Oh My Sweet Friend,

I know that I haven't been by here in a bit, but I surely was meant to stop by here today.

I love you and I am definitely praying God's will in all of this for your mom and for you. You surely know the blinks in my life. Like you, we here live in the today and pray through each one of them and at the same time enjoy the smallest things within each day. I'm seeing Psalm 139:1-6:

"Oh Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me
You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my every thought when far away. You chart the PATH AHEAD of me and tell me where to stop & rest. Every MOMENT you know where I am - You know what I am going to say even before I say it. LORD. You both precede and follow me. You place your hand of blessings on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me. Too great for me to know!"

Rest completely in Him my sweet sister and friend. Rest completely in Him.

I love you,
Alleluiabelle

Donna M. Kohlstrom said...

My thoughts, my prayers and my heart go out to you and your Mom. I pray that it will be a treatable cancer and your blink will soon be one of celebration.

Love your new blog page!

Susan J. Reinhardt said...

Hi Terri -

I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom. Do you want me to add her to my email prayer list? Just shoot me an email with her name.

I know about blinks.

Blessings,
Susan

sarah said...

I'm sorry Terri, really sorry to hear this. LIke the others, I too am praying for you to be safe and stay strong and for your mother - for God to touch her with His healing balm. I agree with Andrea - you didn't get the job - He knew you had a more important one. And Terri I work in Oncology - if there's anything I can do for you - let me know. Nikki

Kristen Painter said...

Your mom will be in my prayers.

Edie said...

Oh Terri I am so sorry. God has arranged your circumstances so that you could be with your mom. This is not a surprise to Him and He will be with you and with her all the way through it.

If you want me to make a prayer button to post on your blog for others to take, please contact me with your email address so I can send you the code. I do this as a free service to those with urgent prayer needs.

Blessings to you!

Edie said...

I forgot to leave my email.
edie7777(at)tx(dot)rr(dot)com

Journaling Woman said...

This calls for some major praying. Please know you have many prayers warriors on the job. One important thing I am praying for you... is peace. Without God's peace you will not be able to help your mom get better and we must get her well.

May the Lord bless you and keep you,
May his face shine upon you and be gracious unto you,
May he look upon you with favor and give you peace.

Teresa

Diane said...

Praying for you and your mom. God CAN do a miracle!

Need More Words said...

Terri,
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. Praying for a miracle, and strength for your whole family.
I'm so glad that you will be able to be with her, you need to be together right now.
I had a blink this Friday, my daughter-in-law's pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and Her daughter turned three yesterday. A weekend of sorrow and joy.

Jody Hedlund said...

Oh Terri, I'm so sorry to hear your news. But you're so right about the job. You'll have the flexability to go be with her now and what a blessing that will be.

Deborah said...

I'm so sorry Terri! I haven't had alot if those blinks, but I think my blink came about the same time as yours. Friday evening my brother called. My dad was asking for all the family to come, he didn't think he would make it much longer. He's 82, and has been going down hill for some time, so it's not a shock....but I couldn't get there right away. Saturday morning he was taken to hospital. He was wide awake when we arrived,(which is unusual) and I was able to hug him and tell him I love him. When we visited again today, he barely woke up.
Terri, cherish the time you have with your mom...hug her and love her every minute you have!

Eileen Astels Watson said...

Terri, I am so very sorry for your mother and you. No words can express the stillness I feel now as I read this knowing many of the struggles you've been dealing with already.

I'm praying huge for you guys now!!!

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

One of your best, Terri. Strange how our pain often seems to birth something beautiful along these lines.

And yes, I've had a blink recently, but nothing the Lord can't handle. It is the same for your mother.

Prayers all around.

peace~elaine

T. Anne said...

I'm adding your mom to my prayer journal. Prayer never hurt right? I'm believing Gods perfect will for this and I pray an abundance of peace that eclipses all understanding!

Galen Kindley--Author said...

Oh, Terri. I…I just don’t know what to say. Of course, as your other friends have said, I’m supporting you with thoughts and prayers. It seems so inadequate. I’m wishing you the strongest of hearts, the courage of lions, and grace to see your family through a difficult time.

Best Regards, Galen

Imagineering Fiction Blog

Greg C said...

My word Terri. I dont' know what to say except I am so sorry for your mother. Have a safe trip and say what is on your mind.

carolynyalin said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to read this. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Melissa Marsh said...

Terri, I wish I could be there to give you a hug! I know your strong faith will help you through this and know that I and many others are praying for you and your dear mother.

Tamika: said...

Terri I'm storming Heaven now! I've been at the altar all day weeping before the Master, and I've found Him to be a friend indeed.

There are no words that suffice what you must be feeling, but know that I'll carry you and your Mother in my prayers. Always.

Heather Sunseri said...

Terri, I am praying for you, your mother, and your family! I am so sorry. You are so right that life happens in the blink of an eye. I'm glad you are able to spend time with your mother. Hang in there, friend.

Amy DeTrempe said...

Terri,
I am so sorry. Your mother is certainly in my prayers, as is your family during this time.

sparkled*life said...

Wow that is a tough one to swallow! I am praying for your mom today! I know though that the word of God is true and that it NEVER fails I know without a doubt that she will be healed in the name of Jesus!

Stonefox said...

Chilling, Terri. I am sorry about your mom. And I am pierced by your words. Just chilling.

Heckety said...

'All things work together for good to those who love the Lord.' probably mis quoted but He just proved it AGAIN! I'm sorry about your Mum, can't imagine how it feels, but at least you can be available for her.
I'll be thinking of yous.

Andrea said...

Just checking in, dear friend! I am praying for you! Hang in there.
Blessings, hugs, and prayers, andrea

Nancy said...

I'm so glad you will be able to be with your mother. You will be such a comfort to her. I am so terribly sorry to hear about her diagnosis, but I will pray for her. I do know that God answers prayer. You are very special to me and I'm sure to all of your blog friends. May God's power and love go with you.

Julie Gillies said...

Oh Terri,

I am SO sorry about your mom's diagnosis.

You are so right--we are NOT promised tomorrow, and I believe you've made a wise decision to travel up north and be with her.

One phone call may have changed everything, but so can prayer. I pray that God intervenes and heals your mother. And I pray that you and your family will experience His unfathomable peace in a mighty way.

Amy Tate said...

O.k. Miss Terri, I am on my knees. I know you don't know me from Adam's housecat (another cliche) but I'm feeling this with you! God is working a whammie in your life right now, isn't He? Whew! Bless your heart! Please keep us posted so I know how to pray, and if you want, please feel free to email me off post. I'm carrying this with you!

Amytate@gmail.com

Jeanette Levellie said...

Dear Terri: So sorry to hear this, but I will pray and believe for God's best for your mom and you, dear sister.
Love and hugs,
Jen

Diane said...

Oh, Terri, I'm so sorry...I feel the ache in your heart...the page is all blurry...I wish I could hug you...and your mom...I will be praying...

Diane said...

Ok - I think I can manage to get some words out now. Terri, I'm certified in practical nutrition. I'd be more than happy to sit and counsel your mom in things she can do to help improve her health. I'd love to help if she is open to it.

Keli Gwyn said...

Terri, my heart goes out to you and your mom. Having lost my beloved mother-in-law to breast cancer several years ago, I know how scary it is to hear the news and realize life will never be the same. May the Lord uphold your mother, your family and you during the tough days ahead, and may He bless your time together and give you sufficient strength to get through each day.

Love, hugs and prayers,
Keli

beBOLDjen said...

It's been awhile since I've been by for a visit. I just wanted to say I'm sorry to hear the news of your mom's cancer. I pray for peace for her journey, and for the rest of the family's journey as well.

Warren Baldwin said...

Yes, I've had a blink this week, but not like yours. We'll be praying God's blessings for your mom and your whole family.

Slendarella said...

Praying for you and your Mom, especially! Now, T, it's YOUR turn to be her rock!

also, spend a wee bit of time investigating a raw food diet for healing...seriously, just google Raw Food with Cancer. Also, mostly Green Smoothies!

Sending LOVE, PRAYERS & BLESSINGS for health your mother's way!

slendie