Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Divided Heart



I've just returned from PA where we spent a week working on our future home. It sits along the Susquehanna River nestled in a very small town. Anyone who has ever read my book or my past blogs knows that I talk about home a lot. It seems to be a recurring theme for my thoughts.

Our return to Florida came harder this time. Perhaps because summer in PA is so delightful. We spent hours with our family making memories. We took a day trip to Knoebel's Amusement Park--a place we often took our daughter as as a child. We enjoyed the blessing of seeing our grandchildren enjoy the same rides.

But the biggest hurdle for me is coming back to an area that offers no memories and trying to pretend it's home for now. I never know how long we'll live in Florida. Right now, it serves its purpose as a place to work and rebuild what we lost in the recession. Try telling that to my heart though as I flip through my pictures.

But like many events in our lives, we don't always get to choose. We do what's needed. For now my heart is divided. One piece in Florida, one piece in PA. 

Where do you call home? Like me, have you moved around a lot and struggle finding that special place where you can settle your heart?




16 comments:

Deborah said...

We have moved a lot, but never very far...less than 2 hours. I even found that hard! Now we are where we call home...not quite where we grew up, but very close. My mom is 20 minutes away, and most of our grandkids are about a mile away. We made this move three years ago for that very reason. Now, if we could just get the rest of our family back here!

Carmen said...

As a young adult, my husband moved away from Calgary and always pined for his 'home.' Several years later he went back and noticed that many of the moments he associated with Calgary had gone or changed. People had moved on, and those that hadn't were a sad reminder of the tragedy of staying the same. I'm like you -- although my heart is also in places that were never my home, but are home for my children and their children. The heart is divided, but maybe that's a good thing too. Loved this post! Love you!

Karen Jones Gowen said...

This is a tough question. Home for me is central Illinois. I haven't lived there for thirty years and I have no desire to live there again but whenever I return, very rarely, it still feels like home. In fact, it's hard to return for that very reason. And when I leave again, I feel a little bit lost and disconnected.

Lily Robinson said...

This farm is the first place to which I've felt that attachment. I can't enjoy the view as much, knowing that soon we won't have it anymore. I can't imagine coming back to visit and then having to leave...

Lin Floyd said...

home is UTah, but for my hubby it's TExas. Born with wanderlust, his heart is always searching for that perfect homestead up north in Idaho but we never found it....Home is where the heart is....

elaine @peace for the journey said...

Seems as if we're always in transition. Home will always be Wilmore, KY, but I haven't lived there for decades! Accordingly, I dream about have a home some day in the mountains of Tennessee. I don't know if it will ever happen, so vacations will have to suffice. The older I get, the harder it is to live this transient life. I do hope you'll be able to get back to your roots some day soon. It seems like such a lovely place.

peace~elaine

Lynn J Simpson said...

Pieces of our heart can be a many places. Although it can be breaking my heart, I am grateful to have experiences of the different places I have lived as they also grew me, showing 'different' sides of my personality. I still call Ontario home as I lived there until 14 and my dad and other family members are still there. However, I have lived in Alberta the majority of my life and it is also, of course, home. There is a different feeling, a security I feel when 'home' in Ontario I don't think will ever go away.

Saleslady371 said...

Hi, Terri!
Your grandchildren are adorable and I'm so glad you had a great visit in Pa. Tom and I left Chicago when the kiddos were very small and built a new life in AZ creating new memories.

Florida is a beautiful state, but far from Pa. Hope it won't be long before you can move to your dream home and be close to family. And I'm hoping our kids in San Diego move to AZ someday so I can be close to the children.

Lynda R Young said...

Having moved only once in my life, I think I've been very lucky. I can't imagine what it would be like to have to move around everywhere. It would be very difficult to put down roots.

Nicola said...

A lovely heartfelt post, Terri. Home for me is now my house in Germany, even though I was brought up in the UK. We spent years searching for land and had our house built especially for us. I have put my heart and soul into the place and feel it is my protector and always greets me with open arms. But that is the here and now. Life can change suddenly, so I ensure I savour every moment of every day. Wishing you all the best and I hope you are able to return to PA very soon (preferably for good if that's what your heart desires). Great picture of the children! Adorable!

Kenda Turner said...

Seems to me saying goodbye--whether it's when you leave a place or have family at a distance--is always hard. We did that a lot when our son lived in CA and then Spain (we're in Ohio). But then I woke up one day and realized that he wouldn't be the man he is today without all those experiences. It was a moment of letting go :-) You have your heart in two places, never easy, but those experiences are shaping you, too. God bless you in all the decisions you still face. And those grandkids? Beautiful!

deeps said...

still with divided heart? :)

quietspirit said...

Hi Terri: I come here from Karen Lange's blog. I am following your blog. I look forward to reading your entries.

Karen Lange said...

I struggled when we moved from southern NJ to KY 11 years ago. Although I knew it was what the Lord wanted us to do, it was still hard to leave. I'd lived in NJ for nearly 40 years, had family there, etc. I love it here in KY now, but still miss some things about Jersey, like good pizza! :)

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

Hi Terri - I'm visiting from Karen's blog. My heart goes out to you. Moving is so stressful, no matter the reason, and no matter how "easy" or how "hard" it is. Back in the day when my hubby worked for Hyatt Hotels we often had to move within just days of notification, and even though the hotel paid for everything, we were still responsible for overseeing it all, switching the kids' schools, physicians, etc. So I don't envy you. But it does seem to be true that the Lord puts us where we belong, even when we don't know it ourselves! Good luck with your life changes. New adventures on the horizon!

Victoria Marie Lees said...

I've only ever lived in New Jersey, but my family has camped all over the country and some parts of Canada and Newfoundland. Our children love Knoebels too. I love your blog, Terri. I came over from Karen's blog and your interview there. I'll join your blog and head over to your facebook page.