Wednesday, December 17, 2014
A personal note
I've been blogging since 2006. Shortly after I started, my life took a definite turn in another direction. We packed up our belongings and started moving across the country--west and north and south again in search of stable employment.
My blog went from writing about writing to writing about the journey I was taking to trust God with the plans for my life. In March, once again, we landed back in Florida for work. Never did I plan to return here.
At the start of 2014, I captured my phrase for the year--Embrace the Adventure. I'm doing it. I've actually not called my daughter once this year in tears. Well, maybe only once. But settling, however temporary this home is for us, doesn't mean we embrace everything well.
Christmas is coming in less than two weeks. The memories of past ones pull at my soul hard. I try not to remember but with all the pictures, and lights and festivities it's difficult not to remember past holidays spent with my daughter as a family. We used to put up a tree, and set the table with red and green napkins. I'd dig out my favorite recipes and pack away surprise gifts. I love Christmas. I love the time spent remembering the meaning and the time spent telling friends and family you love them. When your life and circumstances change, so do some of those rituals and remembrances.
This year has also brought changes in my writing life. I now have an agent, a book coming out and responsibilities I didn't have in the past.
What I fear is my blog and the changes I've seen in it. I like to write about the day-to-day challenges we all go through. Maybe this seems insignificant but I don't want my blog to become another tool to self-promote. I want it to be where I get real, tell you that sometimes life is a pain but that with time, God does answer prayer. I want to be able to say that I miss my home, I wish I was with family this Christmas and I want to bawl every time I hear a Christmas carol.
Yet, I know this is where God wants me. And I will not move until I am positive it's His will no matter how many Christmases I spend here.
So I'm taking a deep breath. Embracing life's challenges. Embracing the adventure.