Warning! This post might border on the personal. If that thought makes you uncomfortable, you might want to click on to the next blog.
I get intimidated easily. Not by annoying telemarketers who call my house despite the no-call list—not by rude line-hoppers who barge in front of me at the post office—not by my daughter’s off the cuff remarks about my baggie jeans.
So who makes me feel like hiding under my chair? Who makes me feel like a six-year old child starting her first day of school? Who makes me wonder if I’ll ever measure up?
I’m not sure I have enough space here but for starts—those people who can memorize God’s word(I never ever could), the women who teach ladies groups,(I’d faint) all the people who are just more spiritual than I am. Pathetic, I know.
Sometimes if you talk about something or pull that elephant out into the room—it disappears.
I’m going to be 54 years old tomorrow and I wonder when do I start to feel confident? When do I feel all grown-up? Been in church since I was a child (minus a few running around years) and should know my stuff. Ask me to tell you a particular verse and I have to thumb through my Bible to find it. Stand up in front of people?? I’d rather watch a room full of babies for a month.
This whole intimidation thing also runs over into my writing. Now hang on, this is where I get really honest.
I get intimidated by writers who have been published by the big companies. Last summer, I had the opportunity to meet many of these writers and interview them. Picture sweaty palms and squeaky voice. When I sat down with Karen Kingsbury, I called her Karen Kingsley. My favorite writer and I messed her name up. I couldn’t get under that chair fast enough. I hate to even leave comments on websites of those who have several books to their names.
So how did this happen? And when does it all go away? I’m not really sure it does for some of us. I still feel like shaking in my shoes when someone sends me an edit in red. I always hated getting bad grades.
So now I’ve bared my soul—my deepest darkest secret. A good way to start a new year.
Maybe I should hold my breath as I click post.
Happy Day and hope you can throw off all your fears too!