Monday, April 19, 2010
I've got your back
My mother isn’t a complainer. She spent fifty plus years married to a man who ordered her around every day. She likes to blend in and not make waves. She’s compliant.
So it took courage for her to choose to live separately from my father two years ago to save her health. But she still takes care of his needs with shopping, check writing and whatever comes up.
I called her yesterday, just days after her second round of chemo.
“I just want to cry,” she said.
Already, the harshness of the treatment was wearing her down. How would she make it ten more times?
“So go into the shower and cry," I told her. “It’s okay.”
I could tell she didn’t think it was an option.
I certainly didn’t inherit my mother’s traits. I cry, I whine, I weep and I don’t put up with unfairness. I try to take charge of my life even if the outcome might not always be the best.
I should know by now that I can’t change someone’s personality. I can’t change how they view a situation. But what I can do is support them through it.
When I write a book, I like to create that support friend, neighbor, family member –someone to support my main character-- in each one.
We can’t do life without someone by our side. How can we expect our characters to survive as well?
Who's that support person in your life?