I’m not a rule breaker. I never got a ticket until I turned fifty. I never was sent to the principal’s office for mischief. But today I’m probably going to commit social media suicide by what I’m going to write.
In the past few weeks, I have read several blog posts from well-known bloggers on topics like, “How to comment correctly,” and “Why I don’t follow your blog anymore.”
What I want to know is who gets to be the Blog Police? Who gets to create this whole set of rules? And why do we choose to follow them?
I started blogging four years ago because I wanted to meet other like-minded people, build relationships and learn about writing and life. Somewhere along the line with the advance of social media networks, rules have been created and I’m trying to figure out by who and why all of us take it upon ourselves to follow them.
My thought is we follow the rules for the followers.
Well if you look at my numbers, it says I have 300 some followers. If I check the stats (which I don’t do often) they show that on any given day for a new post, rarely do all 300 plus people read it. They’re only numbers, friends. We’re jumping through hoops for numbers.
So what if a person only wants to leave a “good post!” comment on my blog. I meet all kinds of real people in the real world who aren’t talkers but I love them anyways. So what if someone wants to write a sermon on their blog and not many people prefer that kind of post. They still shouldn’t be made to feel guilty for doing so.
Posting has become a chore for many and shouldn’t be. We need to love this open form of communication and stop taking to heart the rules that someone out there is creating.
All I want to do is write a good book. I’m a nice person. If I don’t get representation because I worry about the bigger picture in life like getting a job and keeping my home out of foreclosure and writing a good book, so be it.
We have enough Big Brothers in our lives. Do we really need another?
69 comments:
I like to think of "rules" as "guidelines" or "suggestions." If I read a rule that I don't really like or I don't believe applies to me at that given moment, I do my best to simply shrug it off and decide, "That's an interesting guideline. For someone else."
Happy Friday, Terri!
Interesting topic. I think the most important part of social media is that people are genuinely engaged. I understand self promotion is a large part of social media, but if someone is only participating to promote themselves, they're missing out, and people can usually see though it.
Terri,
I agree one hundred percent. If you can't be yourself and write what you feel, why bother? Rules were meant to be broken, and in the writing world, I break them all the time. Don't let the masses mess with you.
Terri, thank you!!
This is a comfy place to be, and that's why I keep coming back. You are so kind and welcoming. I am always leave your blog enlightened and encouraged!
Whoops, I added an extra word to my comment... I meant, I always leave.... encouraged!
Hi Terri,
I see this differently. If you're talking about some of the same posts I've read, I love them. But I love to learn and can see almost anything as a lesson. I like to know how to get through to others more. I don't see it as anyone making up rules or trying to police anyone, but rather trying to help. Trying to guide, give wisdom and offer what helps a connection gel.
Take it or leave it, I say.
I'm taking it.
~ Wendy
I just have to say I think it's the epitome of arrogance to crown one's own self Rule Maker for the blogosphere. No doubt their intentions are good (or maybe not), but it has the smack of "control" where I come from.
I began blogging for my grandchildren. The fact that I have even one visitor is a bonus. The fact that I've met some amazing people and developed friendships with many of them is a bonus to the bonus! But I still write for an audience of seven.
Come to think of it, I really write for an audience of One.
I have often thought blog comments are a lot like signing yearbooks at the end of high school. The day it becomes THAT contrived, I'll stop commenting at all.
Anyway, I wholeheartedly concur with your thoughts here, Terri. Seems to me the risk suicide belongs to the self-prescribed experts. God love their little pink hearts!
Kathleen
Whenever you encounter a new form of communication, you will find pharisees not far behind. Humans love rules, especially if they can enforce them on others! HA!
I like boundaries, because they help me stay safe. And I love God's laws. But human-imposed rules for the sake of rules turn into bondage.
I agree with you, dear.
It's an interesting topic that effects us all on some level. I usually consider other's advice (particularly if they're experts, like Michael Hyatt) and then think and pray about how they apply to me. I don't feel compelled to make changes just because someone makes suggestions, but I do appreciate others sharing wisdom.
I don't feel pressured to do anything except what God shows me...and He sometimes uses other blogs and advice.
For me it boils down to motive. WHY do we blog, tweet, etc.? For me, it's all about connecting with like-minded people from whom I draw encouragement and wisdom. Hopefully I also share some (and some inspiration) along the way.
Good perspective. Sometimes I let the numbers bother me, and why I ask you??? :O)
Hi Terri....Very insightful post today. When I first began my blog, more than a year ago, I did it because I love to write. It makes my spirit soar. Also, it's satisfying to connect with other writers, interior decorators, and, well, just some really great people in different parts of the USA as well as the world.
It's always thrilling to get a new Follower, but, like you, when I check the daily stats, only a small percentage of the Followers are daily "regulars." Of course, I love the ones who are because they become like friends.
In the final analysis, any reader who takes the time to read what I have written is deeply appreciated. I would still write if there were only "one" reader!
I love when people leave comments and thoroughly enjoy reading every single one.
So thanks, Terri, once again, for validating, not judging, and for your fresh and inspiring look on things in blogland. Susan
left brained policers can try but there are too many of us creative right brainers out here...blog away creatively I say. I'm off to teach a creative blogging class today with no rules!
AMEN!
I love blogs that have a little box at the bottom, so I can just click a response, and let them know I stopped by and appreciate what they posted, but don't always have time to comment...so I added the gadget to my own blog.:o)
Love this post, Terri. With social media holding us in its vice like grip, all kinds of rules are being made, by whom I haven't figured out.
As long as people are not being rude or over critical, its okay. Blogging is an open form of communication between like minded people (writers). And it should be left at that.
Someone informed me last year that there were no blog police. :) This really is a great post, and I couldn't agree with you more.
Clapping, clapping, well said....I think there are certain (for me) unwritten rules about common cutesy, not being overly critical or down right mean in a comment.
If I come across a blog or a blog post that I find contrary to my beliefs or offensive then I just click my little self away from that blog. I do not feel compelled to let the entire world know about it. We are surrounded on all side by thoughtless folks and selfish actions. There a lot of reasons people start blogs, we all love getting comments and seeing a new followers, but it is kinda sad when arbitrary opinions bring negative vibes to the process.
Those of us who enjoy reading your blog , myself included will continue to do so!
As always you ROCK my friend!
Blessings
R
I admire you for laying it all out there, Terri. I think you bring up some valid points. Points worth considering and reflecting upon.
But in the same breath, I enjoy reading those posts that you're talking about.
Here's my take:
I want to reach people with my blogging. I want to be heard. Otherwise, I wouldn't write it. I'd keep a journal (which I do). And these people who write the "rules" or whatever you want to call them, are people who know from experience how to be heard, and how to connect with more readers. So I listen. I don't think all of them need to be followed strictly at all times, but if our goal is to be read, I think they are valid and worth considering.
Have a super blessed weekend! And just so ya know - this is going to make for a very intriguing debate! I can't wait to read all the comments. :)
Hey, I don't mind the "Great post!" comments. Like you said, people aren't all wordy individuals, and besides, time is limited--at least they took the time to stop by! There are as many variations on what people do and don't like (in blog posts as well as comments) as there are people. ;)
I love this! I think it's like nearly anything else - it's about balance. There's just no cookie-cutter approach that fits everyone. I'm sure there are tested, tried, and proven methods that increase or decrease regular readers, but it really depends on why you're writing. Some people don't care about building a large following. Others do.
Thanks for making us think!
Terri, kudos to you for speaking your mind. That takes courage.
When I first began writing five years ago, I didn't know much. I just wrote my stories. Two years into my journey, I was "discovered" by a blogger and ushered into cyberspace. Once there, I began reading blogs by and for writers and learned how much I had to learn.
Being a bit OC, I quickly picked up on all the "rules" I came across. At first I balked, thinking how unfair it was for someone to stifle my creativity. I was in love with my stories the way they were. In time, I came to see the value in the trusted guidelines being generously handed down from the pubbed to the unpubbed. After slavishly adhering to them and having my Voice stifled as a result, I found a balance that works for me.
I see a parallel in blogging. When I started my first blog, I knew nothing. Based upon my experience with writing, I chose to shorten my learning curve and see what the blogging pros had to say. I started a new blog with others as the focus, and I discovered the blogging pros were right. That's not to I accept everything "they" say, but I glean what I can from their experience.
Interesting, Terri. If our only focus is to get our name out there and get followers, then maybe following the rules makes sense. But for me, I'm more into building relationships and enjoying the blogs I read. Sometimes a "great post" is exactly what I want to say!
Have a great weekend!
I don't do rules- so this post is spot on in my opinion! If its kind and considerate and doesn't go against any Bible teaching then its pretty much ok in my book. I'm sure someone will pick me up on that, but its the way I live and its the way I discipline my School classes as well as my own girls.
You only have to look at my blog to know I don't follow rules...aha! perhaps that's why I lack Followers!!!!!!
Kidding!!
Thanks for such an interesting debate:) Love the comments. I do want to clarify that I enjoy learning from others about how best to blog--have done that a long time--but sometimes too many suggestions are too many and might hurt some bloggers who just want to blog and not worry they are doing something wrong.
So am I banned from social media?
I must not follow enough blogs because I missed all the posts like the ones you're talking about. I do like stopping by your blog, though.
Since I'm not reading those blogs and don't know the "rules," I guess it's a good thing you're not worried about them. I won't ban you if you don't ban me! :)
Just be yourself - that's what's important. And I looked at those posts too. Whatever :)
I haven't seen these "rules" blog posts. Maybe that's a good thing! Heck, I just love chatting with you and other writers. Any other side benefit is just that...a side benefit.
You're welcome in my social media anytime. :-)
Good post!
I tease. Of course I've seen those posts too and I think they mean well. I've heard the term drive by comments and such but the reality is it takes time to come to a blog and open the comments window and write even those words. I do believe the real relationships are formed through words and great thoughtful answers once in a while are nice too. I almost emailed Nathan Bransford and let him know although my comments are always near the bottom I mean well! (He posted about the better comments being near the top.) It made me shy away from commenting near the bottom. It's hard for me to be the first to answer. I'm west coast. I have four kids. I teach. I have to sleep and eat. But... I do make time for blogging when I can. And I heart Nathan anyway! =)
I love your bravery! XOXOX
I guess there are people out there who want to know why they've lost followers? I have one blogging friend I used to love to read who has gone full-time giveaways and it's tough for me to read her blog. I just looked through all her recent blogs to find something real to read but it was all giveaways. She's probably making money/getting tons of free stuff for all this but if she loses her readers, is there a point? I just stopped to think about why I'd ever even write a blog or tell her about that instead of just unfollowing...and it's because I would think maybe if I were in her shoes, I'd want to know why people were leaving? But now that I think about it, she probably would know! But while it might not be the thing for me, there are a ton of people out there who follow giveaway blogs and she'll find that audience and all will be well. It's the same with blogging about writing. Some people might unfollow me for it (non-writers) but then if I want fellow writers to be my readers, I need to keep doing it. But no, I'd never unfollow someone because I don't like the way they comment unless they're just being hateful with every comment (which has happened).
AMEN!
You hit the nail on the head.
Lovingly-
Yolanda
Great post! :) Many times that is all I can say because, I have to be honest, I don't always have time. I do notice I get less comments when I don't comment, but am I blogging to get great comments? When I crowd is awed, they are usually silent, if you think about it, processing the information, and then cheer with a 'bravo' and clapping. So, bravo for your bravery, and your convictions! May your heart, full of God's love, always be your ruler.
You go!! I agree with you. I blog because I need to write and because I love the friends I've made here. I don't actually even think about any rules other than agreements I've made with myself, and those are up for discussion if life shifts, as it often does.
I'd love to hear your traffic ticket story. :-)
Wishing for you that this is your year for publication. I so appreciate your sharing of your journey and your heart. It will happen for you. It will.
I don't blog by rules! I just write about my life. We each have the option to read someone's blog post or not read it. That's that.
I just believing in being kind to others. Blog posting included.
Your comment on my blog: Yes, it's a new look! Orange and yellow, very bright. New for the New Year! We may have great challenges, but like the late great Viktor Frankl, we can choose our attitude! I'm going to try to think brighter and more positively!!
Amen, Amen, Amen! I at one time was intimidated by the numbers, but not anymore. I don't care if someone gets bored with my blog....too bad. I write for me,
and whatever friendships I get from blogging, I feel blessed.
Well, I just "met" you because you stopped by my blog, but I totally agree with your post. If people don't want to read what we write, they certainly don't have to do so.
I began my blog for my kids, but only my mother ever read it. :) Then, somehow, other people started stopping by to read and leave comments. I write because I have something to say. I write for healing. I write because that is what I do. While, I know the speaker must keep the audience in mind, I'm not so sure this applies to every blog out there.
Thanks for stopping by my blog, and for leaving a comment. Thanks for your blog post.
Hi Terri! I've seen and commented on those 'blog rules' posts too. Some of it is good advice - like don't have music blasting out at your visitors (that makes me get out quickly!), don't have your posts too long etc. All good.
But the follower thing. Well. I sat on 10 followers a year ago and now have passed 300. But as you say, only a handful of your followers read your posts. That's understandable. Most of us followe hundreds of bloggers, we end up with our favourites (and that's what these 'how to' posts are about - becoming the favourite) so people will rush to your posts.
I have my own blogging rules. Respect all, including myself. Post what suits my journey now. That's why I started to blog. And to get my work out there. I post a lot of stories and my writing has improved so much from challenging myself.
Now, like you probably are, I'm working towards publication. Tomorrow I'm announcing a series where authors are guest blogging about their journey to publication. I hope you can pop by!
Oh, and the Jodi Picoult is an oldie! Isn't she super! You'll love Keeping Faith.
I must have missed the handout on blog rules.?
My comments vary based on the topic and my opinion or what I can contribute to the conversation... Sometimes I don't feel like I have much to contribute, so I just leave a brief comment to let the blog author know I dropped in.
Have a Happy New Year, Terri!
I have my favourite blogs consolidated on Google Reader so I can see when a new post is made without making the rounds to check. When I visit someone's blog I'm there because I'm provoked enough by what the person has said to want to comment, but I don't comment unless I'm contributing something new to the conversation. I hadn't thought about Sharon's idea of saying something just to let the blogger know I was there. That may be because I don't think much about statistics. People can subscribe to my blog if they wish, but I deliberately chose not to add the "Followers" widget because I didn't want it to become a numbers game. For me it's all about relationships and interaction within the writing community.
I love reading every comment on my blog and try to respond if I possibly can, as I would in any conversation. I'll usually visit any new person's blog to check it out, but only add it to my regulars if it has a particular appeal to me.
It seems to me that how concerned we are about developing blogging courtesies depends on why we're blogging. I've seen some of those comments on rules, and my thought was they were trying to help those who are concerned about numbers. I'm not trying to sell anything (yet, anyway) so I've skimmed past most of those conversations, dismissing anything that I feel doesn't apply to me. After all, when blogging becomes stressful enough to suck the pleasure out of it, I'll know I'm on the wrong track.
That's my two-bits and then some. ::climbing off my soapbox now::
I agree, posting and reading blogs should never be a chore. I always write exactly what I want to write on my blog and I read as many post from others as I can. I am not jumping though hoops, just enjoying the space to 'listen' and 'talk' through blogging.
A-Men! I've seen these blog posts, too...
You know, sometimes I have time to write a nice thoughtful comment, and sometimes I just want to go by and say hello - or I read quickly and want to make sure they know i stopped by --
We're all busy - there's FB, and Twitter, and Blogs - and geez!
I agree with you - !
Great post. I think we naturally lean towards rules. We need guidelines for our behaviour. We won't be sent off to jail if we choose not to follow the rules/tips, but we may have to face a blog with little traffic. No one should feel guilty about it though.
YES. I've been way less involved in blogging lately, (with good reason), and for a few weeks I felt a little guilty about not checking in on my friends as often as I used to. But the truth is we all have lives outside of blogging, or at least I hope we do, and unless we're promoting a new book or something blogging shouldn't be stressful. It should be fun.
Hmmm. I LOVE this blog and actually surprisingly have enjoyed blogging. My problem has been
time.
Tick. Tick.
There just aren't enough hours in the day to do the things I feel led to do.
Then when deadlines encroach, the decision is kinda slam dunk.
I sure wouldn't worry about my comments, though, but DO filter them through the Spirit:)
Blessings, girl. This is a homey and fascinating palace!--place, too!!:)
I started blogging to sort things out...two years later am doing it b/c I love it. I love the connections and friendships I've made. Recently a 13 yr. old emailed me. Told me she reads my blog every night to give herself hope. She had never left a comment nor is she on my followers sidebar. It thrills me to know I'm making a difference for her.
And your blog..one of the first I found...is one I love..your honest and open posts always makes me smile.
ROFL! I think I know the "Why I stopped reading your blog" post you are referring to. I did enjoy it...even though I'd read others much like. BUT.........
YOU raise good points. Who created those rules?
If a blog is good, why does it have to follow someone else's rules? I'll have to share your post on MY blog - even if it means I might be jumping from the bridge with ya! ;)
Btw - I got her through Carol Garvin's blog. She's wonderful, isn't she?
I think I ran across one of the ones you mentioned - and he should have said "How to leave a comment on an agent or famous author or some other popular person whom you'd like to have notice you" blog! And I'm breaking the rules here by being your 48th commenter and according to DA RULES I should only comment if I get there in time to be one of the first ten commenters so that you'll notice me. But oh, wait a minute, this is Teri's blog. Thank goodness. I know I'll be noticed and appreciated - thank you Teri! Here's to all the commenters - both the short and long, early and late!
Blog rules... oh bother! That's why I don't have a following tab on my blog (I think people can still follow, just not sure how that works). It began to mess with my mind a year or so ago, so I let it go. Who needs the emotional upheaval? As for other rules, the only one I try to personally follow is visiting blogs of those who comment at least once to see if there is a connection there. That can be a chore at times, but blogging for me far exceeds the words in a post; it's about relationship for me, plain and simple (although what relationships are... plain and simple). People know what they're going to get when they come to my blog, just like I know what I'm going to get when I come here. For the record, I'm probably a "follower" here, but I don't pay a lick of attention to my tabs, etc. Mostly, I just click around or click on links that friends post on facebook, etc. So don't take it personally...
You bless my life with your honesty. Keep writing what you want to write and because you love it!
peace~elaine
I'd love to know the link for the post of "why I stopped following your blog".
Cool post, Terri! We're all individuals and the point of a blog, I think, is to express that individuality and to connect with other people and learn and share ideas. And our blogs will change over time because people change over time. I love your blog because it is real!! Thanks!!
I agree with your statements. I would love to say what I really think sometimes, but I want everything to be couched in kindness, even if I disagree. Wouldn't we all just like to be ourselves, even on the blog?
Terri,
Since I'm the 53rd comment I think you're onto something here!
I am in total agreement with you on this topic. If all of us are headed in differing directions, how can we follow the same "rules." And who decided on the end goal anyway!
As I've said before, I'm still way skeptical about all the social media and its impact in the long run...or maybe I'll be the lone non-Tweeter in a few years.
Keep being faithful with talents and keep having fun in the process. I, for one, will keep stopping by to visit. :-)
Blessings and prayers,
Kelli
Committing social media suicide--LOL!
I agree. We don't need to stress ourselves out anymore than we already do. For what, really? Followers are nice but true connections with people are SO much better.
And you're right, I scroll down and read blogs but sometimes their post doesn't warrant a comment or I have nothing to say. So who is to say what blog is actually being read more? YOu can't gage it my comments.
But on the same token, I think some socially awkward people who are actively trying to build a blog following and failing might benefit from the social media police.
(Whoever they are) LOL
I comment to let the author know I stopped by because I like to know people have visited my blog therefore a "Good post" is welcome.
I feel we all have something unique to say, that it is the readers' choice to read and the writers' choice to write.
As far as the comments go, in my initial days I was eager to know what people thought of what I wrote so I used to be happy if I got a comment (good/bad/average) and the feeling continues till date. Sometimes people try to be nice and say a 'hi' and leave, but that is also fine:)
I have always enjoyed reading your posts Terri. There has always been a feeling of comfort that I take along with me when I exit your blog:) Thanks!
Hi Terry, I haven't stopped by in awhile. I read your apology for standing on a soapbox so naturally I needed to come read. Looks like people certainly agree with you, 56 comments! I never saw the comment rules and hope I don't stumble upon them. Thanks for not leaving a link. I didn't think there were any rules and frankly I must say I never got a comment I didn't enjoy receiving. Sometimes people critique. I'm fine with that. A simple hi works too. Sometimes our schedule is pressed and we still want to look around, but time doesn't permit for long commenting. Is that suppose to be wrong? In my blogging world most post their art, so not reading is allowed and accepted. Maybe its different when it's a writing blog.
Remember, they are only rules if you chose to accept them as such...
Hey Terri! I guess I'm reading all the wrong...or right!...blog, because I didn't even know there WERE blog rules!! I usually tend to just do my own thing...but I HAVE wondered every now and then why my number of followers all of a sudden went down by one or two. The naive me thought it was a big deal the first time, but hey, I'm an old hand at blogging now, I guess! I say, Do What YOU Want and the rest can just go....you know! :) PS I LOVE your blog!!
Two words: Amen, Sista! :-)
Wow, I'm thinking I agree. The only "guidelines" I abide by are to be nice and constructive with my comments (even if they're short), and to visit other bloggers who comment on my blog.
You're right, it shouldn't be burdensome. I've fought being weighed down this year trying to get around to blogs and keep up with my own. Had lots of stuff, writing and personal, going on, and some days I just don't do any of it very well. I want to return to the main purpose, visiting blogs for support, and to lend support when I can.
Thanks for sharing, Terri.
Blessings,
Karen
Hi Terri -
You're always on my blog jog, girl!
I didn't see the post you referenced, so I can't comment on it. My take on the blogosphere: the Golden Rule, plain and simple.
I appreciate all comments and those who visit without commenting. They're giving a precious part of themselves - their time. I love blogging and bloggers, and I'd visit hundreds every day if I had the time.
Blessings,
Susan :)
GREAT POST, TERRI!!!
Sorry my comment is brief, but all previous 60+ commentors summed it up quite well!!! Post what's in our heart...Connect with bloggy friends with like mind and heart and enjoy!!
Who needs the Blog Posse anyway!!! : ))
Blessings!
Jackie
This post was a breath of fresh air for me! Thanks!
Just let them (the bloggers) be.
Great post, Terri. A bit of fresh air in the blogosphere!
Nice. I like what you shared here. Thank you. A while ago I read someone's comment on a blog where they said they don't just write about writing because their life is about much more than writing. We care about many things, and those are the things we will write and share about. And well we should.
LOL, it's a good thing I'm living in oblivion, because I would have been arrested for not following the rules. I haven't read many posts of the sort you mention, but schnikes! sounds like some people have some full heads.
Way to speak your mind! I think you nailed it. We all have friends in life who, like you said, aren't very talkative. I have hibernation periods, my poor friends know that I'll crawl out sooner or later, dust myself off and chit chat before crawling back for another spell. They haven't stopped talking to me just because that's who I am.
I haven't commented recently (hibernation spell), but I'm still thinking about all the blogs that bring me smiles. I may pop in and read and pop out, but I'm always thinking of the wonderful people I've *met* and the great information I've learned from so many generous people.
Okay, I got all wrapped up and forgot my point...great post!
This is a great post!
We try to connect, to reach out and have a shared experience, only to find out we have another job. You're so right. It is not supposed to be that way.
But I have to admit, I find myself running that same gambit time to time. I just get caught up in the numbers and not the worth. Although, I have to say, it does not happen often. More often, I am stopped but something truly meaningful.
Thanks for that gift today!!
I don't even use the 'follow' widget on my blog, and I do not 'follow' blogs. I don't worry about so-called rules. I write what's on my heart at the time. It's MY blog. Maybe not the right attitude, but it is what it is.
I love this post! I'm sure I break the rules all the time since I don't know them.
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