I’m on a roller coaster. Pass me the barf bag.
I remember the days I wrote full-time, lounging in my pajamas until noon, no worries about my future, financial situation, friends or family.
Not so now. I wake at 4:30 before the grackles in the park next door and contemplate how my adjustment to Texas will play out today.
Will the drugstore take my prescription? Will I figure out the route to the post office? Will I meet anyone nice in the checkout line to talk with for five minutes? (Will they actually listen to my rambling?)
I wonder how long this transition will linger? Three months? A year? Longer? I’m ready to move on but my life isn’t.
So I turn back to my writing—something that still offers comfort. And I am surprised how much my writing style has changed. Over the past four years, I wrote about grief, death, broken dreams, sadness—my poor critique partners. My whole dismal life spilled out on the pages.
Not good.
My current WIP is a romance—an upbeat romance and when I read through it, I discovered the old me. I like that. Makes me think maybe there’s more to this move than I can see.
Wounds heal. Life churns on. God surprises. Maybe I’ll get used to this roller coaster yet.
How has God surprised you recently?
44 comments:
"Wounds heal. Life churns on. God surprises. Maybe I’ll get used to this roller coaster yet."
Amen. Praise God for His vision for our future,
so much better than ours!
I think a lot of our lives pour out onto the pages of our mss.
You're so sweet; I have no doubt you'll be making lifelong friends. God is good about giving us what we need and I like it best when He does it with a "Surprise!" :)
Adjustments always take time, but God is good to make great use of that time. :)
He keeps bring this title before. A gentle nudge I think to trust Him, even when I can't trace Him.
New places are always a challenge for me too. I hope you make some good friends soon.
I'm so glad your writing is taking an upswing, and believe your social life will, too--soon!
Hugs,
Jen
I love roller coasters. They are the biggest stress relievers ever! I scream the entire ride! Sometimes you need to just scream.
I'm so glad you've found your old self again. Welcome back!
First of all, that first paragraph? I did a real-life, honest-to-goodness LOL.
THRILLED the "old you" is peeking out. Hope she's more than visiting. Praying.
Roller coaster is right! I'm glad you can find solace in writing a good "me" book. :o)
The adjustment will probably be gradual then one day you will wake up and feel HOME in the air. At least, I hope you will!
Hugs!
moving is a tremendous adjustment but change is good. gets us out of our ruts. take your time and enjoy your writing while you can before a job appears...ever read Julia Cameron's artist's way books they are great about dealing with blocks by writing. good luck and try to act instead of react. go out and make friends rather than waiting for them to dig you out...volunteer somewhere...
Don't you dare apologize for your books! I love your voice--every manuscript with it. And you will adjust. You have a strong spirit. :)
Hang in there, but, take the postal creed about writing. "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night ...." Do it! (that's Nike :))Write!
this post made me take in a sigh. Feels nice.
Hi Terri. It will get better.
Right now, you need to reach out and try to find a nice new friend you can chum with. Once you start going places with another person, you'll feel happier.
Take care. Susan
Yes, God has surprised me recently with old friends and new ideas. I like that very much.
I hope you can go on and enjoy the wonderful ride He has for you.
Funny, I experienced a similar shift between my first book and my second. I think God was reminding me that there IS joy is all circumstances. Glad to hear you're enjoying the journey again, Terri!
I know the feeling. It is a challenge to keep your head above water sometimes. It is a comfort to know He is in control and always working behind the scenes, whether we feel like it or not. Glad you are enjoying writing your book! :)
Ditto to everything Karen Lange just right there above my head, said. "Keep swimming," to quote the fish from Little's Nemo movie.
Waving and smiling...
Yes, He has surprised me. I had no idea how deep His Grace really is, and I had no idea how much healing He can bring into a broken heart.
I love that you are looking forward because you are going in a new direction.
God has reminded me that I need to rely on Him more. (Wish I didn't need to be taught that lesson).
Having lived on a roller coaster for various portions of my life, I totally relate! Once I learned how to fasten myself in, carry Dramamine & love the sensation of the free-fall (THAT took a long, long time), I actually came to enjoy it. I pray you will also.
Besides, the best is always yet to come :)
Oh, the blessings and difficulties of change :-) Appreciate you sharing--and encouraging us as you go. Because you are encouraging. None of us know how we will handle change until it is thrust upon us.
Enjoy the your writing. It is a good thing. And anticipate the day when you will be a part of a new critique group. Like Dr. Seuss says, "Oh, the places you'll go!"
I'm at the point where I could use a good surprise, rather than bad ones (or none at all). I'm not much of a thrill-adventure type, that's for sure.
A wise person told me recently to enjoy the season of life I am currently in, because it will end and a new season will begin. I've struggled with our move for three years now...When this friend said that to me I realized the most important part of this season of my life is my daughter and in three years she will be going to college. I couldn't spend another day being sad about not being in Saint Louis...I have too much to treasure and enjoy in this season. :)
Give the Texans time to meet you. You're a great person, they just don't know you yet... I suspect you'll have a bunch of friends before you know it!
Time is the best medicine often, especially for anxiety and loss.
Glad you're writing upbeat things now, Terri. That is a really good sign of what's ahead, I think!
God certainly surprised me with peace, and the knowledge that my decision was okay. And not just okay, but that it's what He wanted.
This gives me hope. The writing is there, always. We have to trust the craft, and the process.
Hugs, Terri!
"my poor critique partners" - smile! Neat to hear that despite the rollercoaster and the barf bag and adjusting to a new world (Texas must qualify as such) you are discovering the old you!
I've discovered that when things get rough, I have to hang on to God's legs like my daughters do sometimes to me and giggle as I drag them around the house. I let go too easily; but if I hung on, I think I could get the giggles too.
We always have our writing...
Thank God for the gift of white, blank pages and for the longing to fill them.
You'll find your way through this, sister. Prayers.
peace~elaine
Hang in there Terri, there are new friends just waiting to meet you. We were in Austin this weekend, as were half of Texas, heard Austin had a record for festivals and visitors. We did a Segway tour, great fun and wonderful way to see lots of the city. Thinking of you and praying for a peace that passes all understanding.
God surprised me in a good way recently, with an awesome guy. :-) (Oh, and in case you don't remember me, I used to read your blog sometimes back when I posted in mine more frequently, about 2 years ago.)
I was just wondering if blogging was still a "fruitful" endeavor, and I saw yours and the discussions you have going and the interesting posts. It seems that with dedication and work, it can still be! I'm glad I visited and will definitely be coming back. :-)
Woohoo for the upbeat tone of your new work! ;-) Remember, when you need a read, I'm here.
I think things are going to work out just fine for you, btw.
I love your opening line, Terri! I've been screaming for someone to let me off! LOL. But, God definitely sustains me. But, I sure would like this ride to end soon!
I felt like I should query one book this year and I learned a lot from doing so, but I don't think it will be "the book." Instead God's opened another door and I'm excited to move down this different path from what I had envisioned happening this year.
I've heard of a lot of people moving to Texas. That state must be doing something right. Take heart. You'll get use to it.
I love romance, but I also enjoy reading stories that make me ponder. Sounds like you do well in both genres.
I am glad you discovered the 'old' you. Enjoy God's surprises.
That makes sense. If you write depressing stuff, your emotions are going to keep feeding off it. Write more upbeat stuff and you'll feel better. :D
Good luck with your WIP - and with your adjustment to Texas life!
And many thanks for commenting on my blog! It's good to see you there and on FB!
Hi Terri -
I've been there on all counts.
The one lie I had to sidestep was that things would always be total craziness. Balance and stability do show up, and one day you'll realize you're truly home.
Blessings,
Susan :)
Yeah, I think life's experiences shape us and our writing. You're doing great.
Hang in there, sweetie. Roller coaster rides don't last forever. :-)
Hi Terri..I am sure you will get used to this change. You come across as a very spiritual person who accepts everything as a part of God's greater plan for us. Have a lovely weekend.
God's always surprising me with the people He is bringing into my life. I believe He is working within us during those times when the roller coaster is rocking on so hard we only want it to settle or get off. Then the ride smooths, the cuves become less sharp, and we see, see what we wouldn't if we had not had that rockin' journey.
I'm glad to read you are working on your romance!
Came across your blog and found it as a wonderful read!Hope you have happier times to share now!!
What a hopeful, positive post. I'm so glad you're able to see God's hand in the challenges in your life right now. I feel like I'm still wandering in the wilderness, but hoping for an oasis soon.
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