Waiting

Today I received a phone call from a woman I hadn’t talked with in over ten years. She had heard from a friend I was “waiting,’ and wanted to share some of her own times of wait with me. Last week my gynecologist called to tell me my mammogram showed two nodules - one in each breast. Unfortunately, due to the growing population of the town I live in, I will have to wait another month to be seen again by the radiologist to determine if further treatment was necessary.

So many times in my life, I have found myself waiting. We waited two years to be blessed by the news that I was finally pregnant with our first child. How quickly forgotten were those charts and doctors’ visits and embarrassing tests once I held our daughter in my arms. Months of fear and uncertainty were behind us now that a new life had entered our lives.

When my young brother-in-law was seriously injured in an accident, my husband and I paced the hospital halls waiting for him to show signs of life – waiting for him to open his eyes in recognition of us. When that moment arrived, and Craig opened his blue eyes, our days of waiting were over. The anguish and fears and what ifs were stowed in a tiny corner of our memories only to be brought out again at another accident in someone’s life – or as a reminder of how we had survived.

Barb, the woman who acted on the Holy Spirit’s nudging, shared with me a few verses she had found great comfort in during her own wait with three bouts of cancer. After I hung up, I opened my Bible to read Romans 8: 38 (NIV). “…For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God, that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

My periods of fear can never separate me from God’s love. He knows every minute of doubt and stress I go through as I wait for His plan to develop. I was immediately comforted with the reminder that God understands my anxiety. He waits to draw me closer during those empty periods in my life when time seems insurmountable.

My life is filled with waiting – so much that I wonder what I 'do' as I wait. Barb gave me the perfect answer.

I slid from my chair to my knees and bowed my head. God waits to draw me closer and have me trust Him during my waiting.